Psalm 90:12 (ESV)
The family is keeping it simple this coming Friday as we dine at my favorite local chili restaurant for my 58th birthday. Not a bad choice for an O-- F---. Bring on the mix of 2/3 Texas Dry,1/3 Teralingua, with jalapenos and onions, and a dash of Dave's Insanity BBQ sauce (heavy on the habeneros). I know that it will be emotional as I scan the faces of Fran of Forty Years, the available kiddos and a few special chingos (friends). I've noticed in my life that approaching those decade years (30, 40,50,60) invites reflection on the journey and more importantly the destination.
Yesterday, while lunching with my fellow pastors and our incredible intern, the table-talk drifted toward Fatherhood, following the lead of our senior pastor. In the mystery of spiritual fraternity I soon discovered that his thoughts about his children and grandchildren, irrigated by heart-felt tears had primed my pump and soon I found myself melting,;especially as I rehearsed a recent major conversation with one of my adult children. This was no soggy sentimentality. It was a well-spring of thanksgiving tapped by the active remembrance of God's faithfulness over the course of my almost six decades.
The cork had been squeedged loose by a sermon delivered by our Associate Pastor setting forth the Biblical teaching on forgiveness from the Gospel of Matthew. What a takeaway line (paraphrase): "Unforgiveness is the poison we drink in the hopes that the other guy will die.": Aware that I may have only 15-25 years this side of heaven, barring any sudden demise, my desire is to keep accounts short. Especially within relationships of my immediate family, extended family and brethren of our covenant community.
This coming Lord's Day I will spend time with the senior saints in a local residential retirement complex. It will be an enjoyable challenge. Enjoyable, inasmuch as we will be sharing Christian fellowship. I'm sure I will blessed with well seasoned stories covering the full genre of life experiences. Challenging, because I know that many of them are veterans of life's struggles, knowing the power of Providence, fending off bitterness and cynicism, surviving the crucible of aging bodies, failing memories, the passing away of family and friends.
Standing at the window looking upon the future I sense that God's gift to me is a growing heart of wisdom. My simple definition of wisdom is: Seeing Life from God's point of view. Progress here entails an occasional return to basic life questions and convictions. One of these is the priority of "Whose am I?" over "Who am I?" Another is "Where have I invested my talents, time, treasure?" (cf. Matthew 6:33) A third "How do I balance the '-ed' (past) with the '-ing' (present --> future) in the syntax of life. Clear syntax is essential to clarity on the critical issues of living well and wisely.
I liken reflective living to viewing a mosaic, rich in the diversecolors, images, shapes and sizes. It's important to stand close for an examination of the details; but one must step back to gain a sense of the whole and to experience its unity of composition and meaning. My mosaic is an ongoing co-artistry. The Lord provides the various piece, handing them to me in times of tragedy, tedium and triumph. I take them with trembling hands, quivering lips and teary eyes and lay them together. Sorting, shifting, setting them into the frame until the meaning emerges. One Day, the finished work will enjoy its place in the palace of my King.
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