On 35 years with Frances Jo

           (Sweet Pea)

Sweet Pea

I married my high school sweetheart thirty-five years ago June 18^th. Best decision of my life. Frances Jo is fond of reminding me that we met for the first time on the Ides of March 1972. Unbeknownst to me she decided that day that we would one day be married. Amazing what these women know while we guys don’t seem to have a clue.

Later we would discover that we had both been in Germany in 1961 where we lived with our SOULdier-fathers. We lived in German cities which were only about 100 miles apart. We were part of the drama happening in Berlin as communist masters built a concrete cage to keep their citizens isolated from democracy and liberty. What an amazing synchronicity to be stationed in Germany with our own family when the Wall collapsed in November 1989.

Berlin Wall, Easter Monday 1990

There is a real sense in our case that opposites attract. My beloved is mysteriously introverted, gentle in manner but tenacious as a bulldog when pursuing her convictions and passions. True to her German heritage (nee Fuehrer) she has fangs and claws when it comes to the welfare of our children. She gave the best years of young adulthood (19) as the  teacher, mentor and nurturer as a home educator. In the process she studied each child’s bent and exegeted their temperaments to me, the military dad.

The valedictorian of her college class (Augusta State University, Class of ’78), with a major in accounting and minor in computer science, she is chiefly responsible for the financial solvency, freedom from debt and routine peace of mind we currently enjoy. She balances my tendency toward emotional decision making with her solid facts-based analysis. Hence we have experienced the joy and blessing of consistent collaboration in the key decisions of our marriage.

The main blessing of our life together has been the shared vision for ministry; especially in our calling to the Army chaplaincy with its constant moves (12 locations in 27 years).  Never a complaint but a sense of adventure as the Lord in His wise providence took us from Germany to Korea and many installations in between. She graciously bore the challenge of living for three years in a remote venue in northern Germany.

Her love of music has brightened our life. A first-chair clarinetist in high school and self-taught flutist, she passed on that love to our children, patiently supporting our daughter Sara’s love of piano and involving all the sibs in our church’s hand bell choir. Special memories of Fran always include her softly singing or humming as we took car trips or as she sat quietly on rainy days reading her pastime novels.

In our family menagerie we have animal totems for each personality. Ryan is the Owl, Ian the Fox, Colin the Bear, Sara the fawn and Frances Jo is a blend of golden retriever and beaver. I’m designated the Lion-Eagle-Otter. (The kids are persuaded that I’m the skunk.) The reality is that in the loudness and craziness of the Sextons in their natural habitat, Fran is the quiet eye in the hurricane.

                                                     

The greatest blessing in our life together is witnessing her steadfast pursuit of Jesus. Giving her life to Christ in the midst of adolescent anxiety about her seriously ill father and attendant health challenges for herself, she has a disciplined devotional life, an abiding prayerful faith and servant’s heart. Her spiritual gifts are mercy, faith, hospitality and encouragement. Frances Jo has modeled a fierce loyalty to her friendships over the years. While not particularly gregarious, she bonds with her Christian-sisters for the long-haul. And that in the midst of the sometimes tumultuous military lifestyle.

The Skunk

My blessing with her is that she has such unconditional love and respect in our marriage. She has direct access to my heart and life and knows that she can speak into my life on just about any matter under the sun. She possesses the power of effective listening and she is my best sounding board. She demonstrates such integrity when she holds to her convictions and insights, even when I am seeking an ally in a given area. We are blessed to enjoy a one flesh relationship in which each one retains their individual identities while living out our solidarity in Jesus’ grace and mercy.

Thank you, Sweet Pea for being the love of my life!

See you at the Potter's wheel!

G.K.Sexton

An excellent wife who can find?
She is far more precious than jewels.

Charm is deceitful, and beauty is vain,
but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised.

Proverbs 31:10, 30

On Dads

(Father’s Day)

Standing at home plate during Little League baseball practice I was acutely aware of his stubble beard, tobacco tinged breath, hairy arms and fading after-shave.  He stood close behind, arms encircling mine and his hands showing me the best grip on the bat. We took several shadow swings together to calibrate the trajectory of a level swing.  During the season, I never actually got a productive hit, never mind a homerun.  My coach never showed disappointment at my performance.  He knew I was giving it my best effort.  My coach was my dad, Lionel Francis Sexton.

Dad was all about teaching the fundamentals of the not only baseball but of life. He instilled in each of his five sons that we were to see ourselves as leaders irrespective of our station in life. For him leadership was the doorway to success measured by any standard, temporal or eternal.  Taking the initiative to leave the world a better place with a focus on future generations was part and parcel of the Sexton Family Ethos. His personal character was built on integrity, supported by principled ideals of honor, selfless-service and compassion; and cemented together by a genuine love of his family.

A major influence of my dad on my own sense of fatherhood was the belief that a key role of a father is to provide vision for his spouse and kids.  From this I claimed my own responsibility to study each of my precious kids with a view to holding a picture of their respective futures until they had discerned God’s leading in their lives. As a Christian dad I believe that my leadership for my kids entailed discerning how God had created each one with a unique temperamental reflection of Christ’s character and call. For example, Ryan manifests Christ the Priest in his “for others” bent; Ian’s persona is that of Christ the Prophet, having a fierce commitment to integrity in himself and others;  Colin is all about Christ the King, with his love of engineering working out a dominion-focus on the earth.  Sara in her gentle personable manner exudes Christ, the Prince of Peace.

Albeit an imperfect man, my dad possessed a sense of graciousness. I never knew him as one to hold a grudge or seek to get even when wronged. If anything, his biggest struggle was in being able to forgive himself. This would eventually claim his life in suicide during my high school senior year. His sudden tragic absence from my life was (is) a tremendous wound. During the years since that loss I have been blessed to know the faithful reality of God as my Father. He has lovingly kept His promise to be a father to the fatherless (Psalm 10:14).

Effective fathers model two key aspects of God’s personhood. At once and the same time, God’s holiness evokes a sense of awe and humility in His covenant children (Isaiah 6: 5) while at the same time we find Him approachable through the blood sacrifice of His unique son, Jesus. (Ephesians 2:18; 3:12) My kids have their own pet names for me indicating their comfort in having access to my heart. Whether it is “Pops”, “Dada”, “Father”, or “Daddy”, I am ever waiting to hear from each of them and learn what is on their hearts. “Thank you, Abba for letting me come and sit in your lap; especially when I not so sure how I’m doing as a dad.”

See you at the Potter's wheel!

G.K. Sexton

Into your hands I commend my spirit

Perspectives on Biblical Fatherhood

For ye have not received the spirit of bondage again to fear; but ye have received the Spirit of adoption,whereby we cry, "Abba, Father.”

Romans 8:15 (ESV)